It’s all thanksgiving

This whole city
the culture
the food
the beauty
I offer you because here I feel, fully and finally, always at home

this parish church
of prayer and praise where
Clergy and religious, laity and saints
find themselves in your presence,
I offer you because here i feel, fully and finally, always at home

And yet I’m so broken
aware that too much of my life
is lost, wasted, destroyed.
I can’t get it back
and your church doesn’t want it.

It’s not me.
But is there enough of me left?
Can you be the me I’m not?
I cannot stand to be healed any more
because I can only kneel
half a man, unable to dance
Unwilling to wait

And knowing here,
on my knees
I may never stand at your altar
but I am fully, finally and always at home
I have thanksgiving to offer.

Even if it’s not wanted.
This is my body, broken for you,
this is the chalice of my tears shed.
make it yours.

Author: Huw Raphael

A Dominican Tertiary living in San Francisco, CA. He is almost 59. He feeds the homeless as a parochial almoner and is studying to be a Roman Catholic Deacon. He is learning modern Israeli Hebrew and enjoys cooking, keto, cats, long urban hikes, and SF Beer Week.

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