Cranberry Celebration Copycat Recipe

If you live near a Kroger’s or a King Sooper (that’s in Colorado) then you know what is this thing called Cranberry Celebration.

My parents love it so much that they will do a day trip up to that College Town that has neither Alabama, nor Georgia, nor even Georgia Tech in it, just to clean out the case at the Tiger Town Kroger’s. They freeze it and hope it will last. Look: it is good. It’s way better than that Orange Cranberry thing we all did in the 70s and hands down tops out the Cran Raspberry thing we discovered in the 80s.

Researching on the internet, though, there’s a lot of people out there writing recipes that clearly want to be in the 70s or 80s all over again. There’s no gelatin in this, nor added pectin. There is no Jello. There is no Raspberry. Also, people: Canned Cranberries? Ew.

So I did it myself. Mom, Dad, here’s the recipe for Cranberry Celebration that I figured out while I was with y’all this Fall… but I didn’t get to test it until today.

• 1 Bag of Cranberries (the smaller one…)
• 12 oz ginger beer (not Verners or Canada Dry.. I mean the good stuff. Like… Bundaberg)
• 1 14oz can of Crushed Pineapple (only in pineapple juice. NO SYRUP) Drained, reserve the juice.
• Enough Walnuts to make 1 Cup whizzed up.
• 1 Cup brown sugar
• EXTRA fine White sugar to taste after prep (not powdered, tho…)

1. Put the cranberries in a saucepan, reserve about 1/3 a cup for whizzing later
2. Pour all the ginger beer in the saucepan and set the heart on low.
3. Cover. Wait. As the heat rises, the cranberries will begin to pop, releasing pectin into the juice, this will begin to thicken up nicely.
4. When they start to pop, go ahead and stir in the brown sugar. This will come to a boil, that’s fine, just stir. Keep it at a low boil/high simmer for 20 mins.
5. In a chopper/food processor whiz up the cranberries and the nuts. Yes, these cranberries are raw and they are going in the mix. It will help with the texture.
6. When the stuff has simmered for twenty mins, stir in the nuts and berries and drained pineapple.
7. Taste it. Add white sugar if needed. Some berries are more tart. Some less.
8. Add some pineapple juice if it’s needed – drink the rest.
9. Put it in the ridge overnight. Boom.
10. Celebrate. Celebrate. Dance to the Music.

I used this as a stuffing in a pork roast. THAT’ll make you celebrate, let me tell you. Yes that is a large bit of pork in the picture, because someone forgot to take a picture before the Putting Away commenced.